When You Are Cringe, You Are FREE.
Hello my loves!
Lately I’ve been wondering if I over share on the internet. I look at my Instagram and ponder if maybe I should be a bit more profesh and only post my tattoos and shut my pie hole every now and then. Like, do people give a shit? Do they think I’m being annoying? Do they think I’m unprofessional for including my kinda weird personality and experiences on my account? Are they mad at me? Are they gonna unfollow me? Oh my god, what if everyone unfollows me and my career goes to shit? Should I call my therapist?
Aka, the usual spiral of self doubt and anxiety that hits when you are a human being participating in the (often horrific) social experiment that is social media…
However, a video I recently saw on Tik Tok keeps popping into my head when I start down the slippery slope of being perceived on the internet. It’s a short video of a teacher behind her desk, addressing her students. I can’t recall exactly, but I think it says in the caption that they’re middle schoolers. (Aka the meanest age of children, but that’s neither here nor there.) She looks over her computer at the group of kids and says, “Okay, class! What do we say?” The class is at attention as she starts with, “When you are cringe…” She points to the group of students and they chant back, “You are free!”
“When you are cringe, you are free.”
For those who may not know what “cringe” used as a slang term means, here’s what google says:
If something is "cringe" or "cringy", this means it's embarrassing, awkward, or uncool.
So what this teacher is promoting is that when you are doing something that some folks may see as uncool…you’re actually free. I love this.
For me, I think the freedom really comes from not giving a fuck if anybody else thinks it’s uncool or embarrassing. The freedom is releasing that feeling of needing to justify what you care about or who you are as a person. You can’t live your life based on other people’s expectations and preferences. Lean into the cringe to be exactly who you are and that is freedom.
So, that saying has been on repeat in my head every time I have a people pleaser moment of panic (which is quite often) and I want to make sure no one is misunderstanding me or mad at me or I’m thinking I need to dumb myself down online so I’m more palatable to the masses or whatever the fucking fuck. In that moment, I stop myself and take a chance to breathe and release the control and need to be liked at all costs.
I don’t NEED to control every single person’s perception of me. I literally CANNOT control their perception of me and force them to like me, because I’m not a super hero with mind controlling abilities….dammit.
This is a blog for all the anxious little people pleasers like myself out there. The freedom you feel and the weight that is lifted off of your soul when you realize you can be exactly who you are and the people who matter will still love you, is a beautiful feeling. Even when you are cringe, they will love you. Also, realizing social media doesn’t mean shit and it definitely doesn’t dictate your worth, so you might as well be yourself on there, is a pretty solid feeling too.
Look, some people will totally hate you just for being you. I mean, that’s part of life and you can’t be every single person’s cup of tea, but you just have to let them do it. It’s none of your business, mmkay? Let me repeat myself in case you missed that last part.
IT’S. NONE. OF. YOUR. BUSINESS. MMMMMMKAY??????
So what I’m really trying to say is…I’m gonna continue to be my weird (sometimes annoying), big loving, big feeling, humorous, well intentioned, kinda strange and often CRINGY-ass self on the internet. So hold onto your butts and if you wanna join the club, there’s always room for more cringe.
I LOVE YOU. K bye!
-cori